mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
barbara walters just said penis...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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