she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize