All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm too high and old for this...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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