Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
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hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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