Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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