you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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