Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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