i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i came on her dog
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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