i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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