He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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