theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize