what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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