Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.

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  (312): Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good. http://tfl.nu/1om1
  Replies (82) Good night (3337) Bad night (799) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.

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  (780): he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem. http://tfl.nu/ak11
  Replies (15) Good night (655) Bad night (4352) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.

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  (727): and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go. http://tfl.nu/b20y
  Replies (37) Good night (10010) Bad night (1120) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...

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  (916): i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store... http://tfl.nu/z9dc
  Replies (50) Good night (7747) Bad night (815) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?

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  (412): Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+? http://tfl.nu/fsug
  Replies (15) Good night (8898) Bad night (839) Order T-Shirt
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.

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  (731): the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink. http://tfl.nu/2z0e
  Replies (17) Good night (4027) Bad night (1684) Order T-Shirt
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Chalk up having sex in a car wash.

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  (870): Chalk up having sex in a car wash. http://tfl.nu/k9pw
  Replies (11) Good night (3031) Bad night (734) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.

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  (760): all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing. http://tfl.nu/78qs
  Replies (6) Good night (1799) Bad night (499) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.

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  (519): You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you. http://tfl.nu/7uzq
  Replies (5) Good night (1784) Bad night (892)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car

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  (586): somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car http://tfl.nu/ci3e
  Replies (6) Good night (780) Bad night (2013) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".

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  (916): You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar". http://tfl.nu/r1q0
  Replies (6) Good night (2127) Bad night (446) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...

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  (619): Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by... http://tfl.nu/g8gw
  Replies (9) Good night (3555) Bad night (575)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.

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  (401): I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE. http://tfl.nu/jvh7
  Replies (8) Good night (417) Bad night (1418) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.

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  (905): At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance! (905): I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more. http://tfl.nu/b1ur
  Replies (2) Good night (845) Bad night (154)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.

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  (330): i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame. http://tfl.nu/xq0z
  Replies (0) Good night (533) Bad night (150) Order T-Shirt

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