I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uberlube is also flammable
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize