Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize