Texts From Last Night

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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.

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  (952): I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa. http://tfl.nu/1yb9
  Replies (98) Good night (3617) Bad night (634) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.

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  (501): fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka. http://tfl.nu/5hpm
  Replies (44) Good night (3559) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.

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  (415): She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver. http://tfl.nu/1xbw
  Replies (39) Good night (706) Bad night (4276) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad

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  (201): he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad http://tfl.nu/jzas
  Replies (40) Good night (583) Bad night (4132) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  why weren't you at the audition last night?

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  booty call before role call

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  (804): why weren't you at the audition last night? (1-804): booty call before role call http://tfl.nu/sna4
  Replies (17) Good night (5037) Bad night (788) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!

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  (307): When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"! http://tfl.nu/t4t6
  Replies (15) Good night (3713) Bad night (781) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym

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  (949): Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym http://tfl.nu/zlhc
  Replies (3) Good night (1320) Bad night (409) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties

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  (519): I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there (905): Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties http://tfl.nu/lxma
  Replies (4) Good night (1252) Bad night (844)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  "Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha

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  (206): "Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha http://tfl.nu/1j7y
  Replies (10) Good night (2831) Bad night (337) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!

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  (352): Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!! http://tfl.nu/bmaq
  Replies (5) Good night (821) Bad night (974) Order T-Shirt
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  (646): View more from New York

  Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom

  (347): View more from New York

  I can't even drink.

  (646): View more from New York

  The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.

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  (646): Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom (347): I can't even drink. (646): The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples. http://tfl.nu/1cwa
  Replies (10) Good night (1741) Bad night (426)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.

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  (773): You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday. http://tfl.nu/8aa9
  Replies (4) Good night (1407) Bad night (364) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I need rollerblades now

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Rollerblades pick up bitches

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  (774): I need rollerblades now (774): Rollerblades pick up bitches http://tfl.nu/hoew
  Replies (7) Good night (771) Bad night (225)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "

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  (252): Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison " http://tfl.nu/v70i
  Replies (5) Good night (308) Bad night (757)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".

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  (616): The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag". http://tfl.nu/vc6w
  Replies (2) Good night (208) Bad night (483) Order T-Shirt

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