i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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