Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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