she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need moral support for this bender
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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