he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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