there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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