my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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