I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
40s are totally the cure
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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