The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
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