I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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