went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize