guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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