I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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