dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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