I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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