Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize