It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
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I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
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I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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