woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
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He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize