Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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