Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
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So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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