Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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