dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize