YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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