Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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