Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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