idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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