he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
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Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
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Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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