last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
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I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
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Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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