dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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