I looked at my own cervix.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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