If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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