I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize