sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize