Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize