Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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